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  • Writer's pictureJosh Klapow

When The Relationship Gets Toxic

There will be times where we are in a relationship and we can't "just leave". The most powerful action may just be the last thing you are thinking of doing.

There are times where nothing we do seems to influence another person to change their behavior.  We find ourselves in an unhealthy, sometimes toxic relationship. It may be our boss, coach, teammate, significant other.  People will tell you to “just end the relationship”.  As noted in a review by Time, there can be many reasons why that is not the best move in the moment.  In these situations, all you can control is how you show up.  As much as it may feel right to fight, to seek retribution, go head-to-head, the most powerful move is to dial into the best version of yourself. 


The best version of yourself is not about being “nice”. It is literally envisioning what you would do if you were functioning at you healthiest physical, psychological, and behavioral level, and then behaving accordingly.   This approach allows you to stay on the right side of the relationship until things change or until you find the right time to move on.


According to Forbes, there are at least 6 ways to navigate yourself to a better version.  The question becomes, however, what are the characteristics of the best version of you?  Here are some characteristics that you may choose to incorporate into your thinking and conceptualization of your best self as you navigate the situation you are in:


Characteristics of the Best Version of Myself

1.     Kind

2.     Cooperative

3.     Empathetic

4.     Compassionate

5.     Self-caring

6.     Self-soothing

7.     Self-protective

8.     Rational

9.     Intellectual

10.  Flexible

11.  Authentic


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