Dr. Josh's Shrinkage: How To Apologize After An Affair
Dr. Josh offers his "shrinkage" on how to really say your sorry. Often this comes after an affair has been discovered. However it can really apply to any major relationship betrayal. A summary is below. Listen to Dr. Josh discussing the topic in this podcast from The Web Radio Show.
Dr. Josh's Shrinkage: 5 Steps For Apologies After A Major Betrayal
Step 1: Understand what you are apologizing for
Be clear. What are you apologizing for specifically. Think about it. Saying your sorry is important but not enough.
Step 2: Accept responsibility.
No "but" allowed. You did it, it's your fault. Stop there.
Step 3: Offer alternatives.
Show that you really thought about this. What should you have done differently? How should you have handled this in a different way. Saying "I shouldn't have cheated" is not enough.
Step 4: Abolish expectations.
This is about your apology – no expectations for your partner to do anything, say anything or forgive you.
Step 5: Say, “I’m sorry.”
It's critical that they hear those words from you.